So geochronologists are really measuring God’s anger?

And I thought I had seen it all. In the newest issue of Creation Matters (Volume 12, No. 1) creationist Paul G.Humber (author of Evolution Exposed) makes one of the downright vapid attempts at converting theistic evolutionists into creationists. How will Humber achieve such a conversion? Well, in case you didn’t know, radioactive rock is proof of God’s anger. In a feeble attempt to say that uranium decay into lead has occurred at starkly different rates in the past, Humble trips and falls flat with some creative scripture reading;

Is it possible that something in earth’s history greatly increased uranium decay into lead (a more traditional method for measuring the age of rock)?

The answer is yes-both scientifically and biblically! For one thing, there are a number of experiments that show change in the rate of nuclear decay. Second, consider Deuteronomy 32:22-“For a fire is kindled by My anger, and it burns to the depths of Sheol, devours the earth and its increase, and sets on fire the foundations of mountains.” This verse may point us in the direction that radioactive decay is a physical manifestation of God’s anger against evil, affecting even biological life. Prior to the Noachian flood, mankind lived much longer. His lifespan has diminished substantially since the flood. Also, even though Noah might well have had some immature dinosaurs on the ark, their nearly total extinction following the flood seems obvious. This also holds with respect to many other animals that have become extinct.

The only thing this letter is going to do is further convince its recipient how absolutely crazy creationists can be if they get creative. While Humber recognizes that the scripture he used above is poetic (I don’t know of any mountains literally catching on fire from radioactive decay), his depiction of God driving creatures to extinction via radioactive decay is specious, at best. If Humber is correct, God would have told Noah to save all the extant dinosaurs, but then God decided he didn’t want to rascally reptiles around anyhow and destroyed them by changing the rate of radioactive decay *smacks forehead*. In a way, I can understand people who cling to the idea that the Bible is without flaw and is literally true in every respect, because I understand they are attached to their faith very intensely (even though they are still wrong). What I don’t understand are creationists like Humber who go out of their way to find obscure references and attempt to attach them to pseudoscience, claiming that one supports the other (when it’s really just a rat’s nest of magical thinking).

In any case, if Humber were right then measuring radioactive decay can’t give us any dates at all, but rather a measure of how angry God is at any moment. Despite all the injustice in the world, is seems that his amount of rage is decreasing at a predictable rate that can be expressed in half-lives, although which radioactive decay rate best represents God’s anger is then opened up for debate. This is all, of course, absolutely insane and it boggles the mind as to how anyone can even conceive of such ideas (much less put them into print and disseminate them in hopes to convince “unbelievers”), but I guess you need to be able to do mental backflips when real life doesn’t fit what goes on inside your mind. Too bad for Humber that he can’t spot his own landing.