Kinky Alien – Ape Sex

19 07 2007

There are lots of crackpot beliefs and ideas in the minds of people the world over. Some believe that Jesus really traveled to India, where his body rests in a tomb. Others believe that Gigantoraptor was really a magical bird called a “Fandor” that carried Adam and Eve around the Garden of Eden. Some of the most surprising and strange beliefs, though, have to do with the origin of our own species, Homo sapiens.

In the first chapter of Strange Creations: Aberrant Ideas of Human Origins from Ancient Astronauts to Aquatic Apes, Donna Kossy reviews many of the strange New Age/Gnostic/pesudo-religious/UFO-obsessed hypotheses that have been invoked to explain how humans came to be, some with great success that others (i.e. Erich von Däniken’s Chariots of the Gods? is the popular standard by which other idiotic UFO books seem to be judged by). While there are plenty of similar creation myths to choose from (and I could probably devote post after post to such woo), I did notice a strange misogynistic trend among the books which (with the exception of the highly eccentric Helena Blavatsky) were predominantly written by men.

The first example that caught my attention was that of George Van Tassel, author of Science and Religion Merged, and he certainly broke his own spine bending backwards to try and accommodate “science” with religion and paranormal buffoonery. Here is Kossy’s summation of Van Tassel’s mythology;

Van Tassel reveals the true meaning of evolution and the book of Genesis in a chapter of Religion and Science Merged entitled “The Missing Link.” God created Man, Van Tassel tells us – on many planets in many solar systems – before He created Earth. We didn’t evolve from “lower animals,” but were created “to serve as the instrument of God’s doing.” Adam wasn’t the first man, he was an entire race of men brought here by the Adamic Federation in a spaceship. But the colonizers forgot to bring women along – a rather large oversight for a supposedly perfect race. If they wanted to people the earth, the Adamic race would have to mate with female Earth creatures. Fortunately, they were able to breed with one of the animals races here on Earth, the race of Eve, which Van Tassel describes as “upright walking animals… the highest form of lower animal life” on Earth, but they were not apes.

The Bible story of Adam and Eve and the serpent, writes Van Tassel, is really an account of God’s displeasure with this coupling between man and beast; eating the wrong apple is a metaphor for mating with the wrong species. “This,” says Van Tassel, “is where Man became hu-man.” “Hu” represents the animal, killer nature of the tribe of Eve, while “man” is the higher nature, created by God.

Likewise, the authors of Mankind – Child of the Stars (Otto Binder and Max Flindt) tried to find “the missing link” through supposed breeding experiments between early hominids and aliens. Kossy explains;

All [the enigmas of human evolution] Flindt and Binder claimed, were solved if we realized that our species is a hybrid between “Apeman” and “Spaceman.”

Although they try very hard to look scientific, Flindt and Binder find their clearest evidence for the improbable coupling of apeman and spaceman in the Bible. From Genesis 6:2, in which the sons of God marry the daughters of men – “And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair, and they took them wives of all which they chose” – they conclude that “starmen visited Earth and mated with early females (perhaps hominids) to sire the modern human race of Homo sapiens.”

Flindt and Binder conclude that not only humans – but just about every species on Earth – were originally brought here by aliens. The space people first arrived here long before hominids appeared, making countless trips to Earth, each for a different “hybridization project.” They brought with them such creatures as the coelacanth and the duck-billed platypus… The aliens also imported the first apes and then returned about 12 million years ago, in time to breed with Ramapithecus, an early hominid. Not quite 12 million years later, the offspring of this strange coupling had developed into Australopithecus, an early ancestor of Homo sapiens.

As mentioned earlier, Erich von Däniken was perhaps the most successful of the UFO nutjobs, and he borrowed from science, the Bible, and other writers like Blavatsky to come up with his brand of alien breeding project;

Von Däniken’s version of humanity as an alien breeding experiment, like those that came before, loosely follows the Bible. Like Blavatsky’s narrow-headed Lemurians and Van Tassel’s alien-beast hybrids, some of Adam’s genetically altered progeny were unable to control themselves, and continued to mate with animals. This “backsliding” represented the Fall of Man because it “impeded evolution,” and retained the bestial in man.”

These sentiments actually echoed other racist/religious arguments that preceded von Däniken, the racist Edward Long writing (sometime between the late 18th and early 19th century);

Oranguatans, he wrote, “did not seem at all inferior in the intellectual faculties to many of the negroe race; with some of whom it is credible that they have the most intimate connexion and consanguinity… the negroes themselves bear testimony, that such intercourses actually happen; and it is certain that both races agree perfectly well in lasciviousness of disposition…” Mulattoes, Long proclaimed, are infertile, like mules. They come in two types: first, the offspring who result from the coupling of a Negro and a Caucasian; and second, the offspring of a Negro and an orangutan. The latter are often the result of “the passion the male Orang-Outang has for the Negress.”

Utterly disgusting and despicable, and yet such notions found favor among many. While there are plenty examples of humans at their worst in trying to figure out their own origins, I picked these examples primary because they showed the overall bias towards the white male as being the most godlike. According to the racist and idiotic mythologies, men are degenerate gods/aliens while women are directly connected with bestial and stupid apes; the bias could not be more clear. Just like the classical Genesis mythology, “Eve” gets the blame for the Fall or man’s degenerate condition, and the males in these stories are always placed nearest to godliness (if they aren’t already gods).

While I would like to believe that such misogynistic and untenable beliefs no longer exist today, I would be a fool to do so. It is absolutely incomprehensible to me how, at the beginning of the 21st century, we have seemingly changed so little in our prejudices and habits. Like Kossy writes in another chapter of the book, there has never been a “Golden Age” of humanity (nor were “The Good ‘Ol Days” really that good), but still I am continually shocked and amazed by the sort of untenable nonsense that is all-too-readily accepted.

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9 responses

19 07 2007
Zach Miller

Wow. I mean…just…WOW.

19 10 2007
jordan

no comment

29 07 2008
the mighty orange

so aliens were intergalactic animal-fuckers? i find that hard to believe.

13 11 2008
ya boy EJ aka E-genius

well its definitly a likely possibility. How can u say its hard to believe unknown intelligent life forms may have fucked animals when our very own race of humanoids has people that celebrate beastiality.

18 07 2009
uhm...

no oneclaimed that it was impossible I just don’t think it’s likely that we are the offspring some alien beastiality cult…

27 12 2009
Sons of Zues

We cam from a planet 40mil light years from this dirt planet and we are going home sone.

13 08 2011
10 09 2011
Trojan

What Chinese Horrorscope are You ……

2 03 2012
Michael govdon

Nonsense i mean arrant nonsence

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